It's No Surprise This Torn Book Is A Damaged Good

Haha I feel ridiculous. All I wanna do is sit down and complain and/or ramble, and I can't even decide to do it here or on my other blog.

...why in the hell do I have two blogs?
Cause I'm cool like that.



It seems all I want to do is yell these days. I don't feel connections to anyone, really. I talk to people, I laugh, I have real conversations...but it is so incredibly rare for me to find someone that I actually connect with. I just don't have that anymore. There is more than the words that come out of my mouth, more than the things I'm doing or creating, more than what I'm learning, even. Mainly, there is what I'm feeling. And talk of feelings is like speech on deaf ears out here. Personally I think people just don't like talking about them, and that is hard for me to handle. Humans are not meant to suppress emotion.

And so I yell. I dream of writing songs in which I can yell my own words and thoughts, but being stuck behind this acoustic guitar that only seems to produce G and Em chords is quite the deterrent. Thus I move onto La Dispute; the only outlet for such ridiculous emotion. If somebody could just...understand what I feel through those words...it all makes so much sense. Ugh. That seems so unlikely these days. Instead I will live with the weird looks and the staring eyes as I fuel the fire of my passions. What choice do I have?



I am but a boy amidst the ocean of the world, and the tide is rising against me.